Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Dear Alex,

Don't take this the wrong way, but you are sort of driving me crazy this week.  For a couple of months now, you have been doing relatively well at sleeping.  You would usually wake up once in the night, eat, and fall back asleep.  A couple of times, you even slept all night!  But this past week, you've started waking up at 2 or 3 and never really settling back down.  It's not fun.  On Sunday, we let you spend the night with Grandma, so we could have a break, and you slept the whole night!  But then, last night, it was back to the 3:00 AM wakeup call.  We tried everything to get you to go back to sleep, or just to be quiet enough that WE could go back to sleep.  Your Daddy even drove you around the neighborhood.  I rocked you, and you slept for about 20 minutes.  I left for work at 7:45, and you had drifted back off.  Apparently, you waited until I staggered, bleary-eyed, out the door, and then you slept for several hours.


I keep reminding myself that this is normal... that it's temporary ... that it's what we signed up for.  But it's hard.  I love you more than you can ever realize, but honestly, when your Daddy took you to the car at 4:00 this morning, I almost told him that if he was going to return you to the hospital, he'd better take the receipt.  =)


I came home from work on my lunch break, to do some housework and see you and Daddy.  You were asleep, but when you woke up, you were all smiles.  It was like you knew how badly I needed some love.  So thanks for that.  If you follow it up with a night of relatively calm sleep, I will appreciate it even more... but if you don't,  the smiles will do.


Love Mom

4 months minus one day out of the oven


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Friday, May 18, 2012

Dear Alex,

you won't believe it, but next Wednesday, you're going to be four months old! That's madness to me. You are getting so big and strong.

Two interesting things have happened this week. The first was that, on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, you had these horrible crying jags. We couldn't figure out how to make you stop. We theorized that you were just really tired because, once you calmed down, you tended to pass right out for the night. On Wednesday, I calmed you down with a teething ring from the refrigerator, so we are also thinking you may be teething early. Granny Johnson says that your Aunt Cha Cha and I both cut teeth early, so it's possible. You didn't do it on Thursday, and you just sort of half-heartedly did it tonight, while I fed you your bedtime bottle.

The other interesting thing is that you have been sleeping like a champ! For a few weeks now, you've been busting out of your swaddle, and it was getting to the point where the struggling would wake you up. Your Daddy and I had discussed the fact that you probably weren't going to let us do it for much longer. Well, this week, you started flipping over in your swaddle, and we were very concerned that, with your arms pinned down like that, you wouldn't be able to roll back if you needed to. So, with much trepidation, I swaddled you with one arm out on Wednesday night. I expected you'd be waking yourself up all night long, but you slept for 9 hours! And last night, you slept for 10 and a half! You had never slept that long in your entire life, and I hadn't gotten so much sleep since before you were born. I had so much energy at work today, I didn't know what to do with myself. You seem to like sleeping on your tummy or your side. Since all the literature says I should put you down on your back, you had to wait until you were strong enough to flip yourself into your preferred sleeping position. It still makes me a little nervous, but you seem perfectly content.

I had a realization today. Thanks to you, I am probably, at this moment, healthier than I have ever been. Since I have no tolerance, I drink in extreme moderation - usually one glass of wine or a beer while I take a bath. I haven't smoked in over a year, and since I need to lose my baby weight, I exercise almost every day and eat a LOT of fresh fruits and vegetables. So, thanks for that! I really needed to completely quit smoking, even on special occasions, and I don't know if anything else would have moved me to do it besides being pregnant with you. You really are a gift, on so many different levels.

This week, you have started seriously enjoying the bouncy chair your Grandma Garrett and Grandpa Tiny got you. Your feet don't quite reach the ground yet, so we had to put a stack of books underneath for you to bounce off of. You get super excited, and you jump up and down. You also have a new favorite song - the Blue Danube waltz. It's on the music-maker from your activity mat, and it always makes you smile (and sometimes laugh!) when I sing along with it. I'm glad to see you're expanding your musical horizons.

I have started trying to establish a more regular bedtime routine for you. We've always dimmed the lights and played your cricket sounds for you, but I wanted it to be a little more involved. So, I added two things - after I start warming up your bedtime bottle, we sit down and read Goodnight, Moon. Then, we listen to "Walk on the Ocean," and then you eat. I swaddle you (arm out) when you're starting to drift off, and you eat a little bit more before you fall asleep. Then, you go in the bassinet with the cricket sounds.

You have your 4 month checkup on Thursday. I won't be able to go with you this time, so Daddy will have to comfort you after you get your shots. I apologize in advance because I know they will hurt you, but they're for your own good, and Daddy will be there to make you feel better. We love you!

Love,
Mom

almost 4 months out of the oven!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Dear Alex,

I read a horrible story the other day about a minister who suggested that parents physically discipline their children for acting homosexual.  He has since claimed that he was joking, but I am not so sure.


I have tried to tell you, in the broadest of terms, that you are free to be whoever you want to be, but you know what?  You're a baby, and you may not have developed a sense of subtlety yet, so let me make this abundantly clear.


It's OK if you're gay.  You're probably not.  Most people aren't, but a significant minority are.  And if that minority includes you, it is OK.


But here's the thing.  It isn't just that it's OK.  It's that your father and I just really don't care all that much one way or the other.  Your sexuality is something you are born with, so it's only as interesting to us as your eye color or what hand you write with.  Sure, we are mildly curious to see which traits you will exhibit, but we aren't going to be spending any time agonizing over the ones that don't turn out the way we expected. 


The qualities you are born with are much less important to us than what you do with them.  We are much less concerned with your genetic traits than with the choices you make in life.  That's what excites us.  We care about your joys, your passions, the decisions that you make about how to treat people.  That stuff is fascinating!  Your sexual preference - eh, that's pretty boring by comparison.


So, if you do wake up one day and realize that your heart doesn't point in the same direction as a lot of guys, I hope you won't waste a moment wondering how your parents will take the news.  We will be happy that you choose to share with us, but honestly, we don't really think it is a big deal.


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