Dear Alex,

If you ever have children, maybe you will find some of these tips useful.

Things Amanda Has Learned So Far About Being a Parent #1: Things never go according to plan, but that's okay.

I didn't plan on wanting an epidural, but I wound up getting one. I thought I still had hours of labor to go, but in reality, the worst part was over. If I had just waited another hour, you would have been here. But even though it wasn't the plan, I don't regret the decision. I had 10 hours to get all the crazy baby pain endorphins, but then I got to enjoy the part where I pushed you out.

I didn't plan on using any disposable diapers at all until you went to daycare, but right now, life is just too hectic to introduce another responsibility (lots of diaper laundry). So we're going to hold off until your cord falls off, you get a little bigger (they are a little big for you right now anyway), and until we get a little better hang of this parenting thing. I am ok with this situation.

I didn't plan on feeling so overwhelmed... but from what I have heard and read, it's totally normal, and most new parents feel this way. So I am trying to enjoy it as much as possible because you won't be this tiny forever. I hear you people grow really quickly, and I will miss these days when you are so sweet and innocent and dependent on us.

Things Amanda Has Learned So Far About Being a Parent #2: Everything happens in its own time.

If I had realized how close we were to your birth, I would have skipped the epidural. But, honestly, nobody knows if you're going to be in labor for another hour or another 30 hours. Things happen when they are supposed to. Sure, you can try to make plans for specific events occurring at specific times. You probably will. Just be aware that that voice you hear? It's God laughing at you.

The same could be said for your conception. I honestly believed it would take forever to get pregnant, but you and God had other plans. I thought, "we've got forever to buy a house, go to school, get our act together." It turns out, we didn't. And to be truthful, even if it had taken forever, my plan probably still wouldn't have worked out. Things have a way of getting complicated, baby or no baby. I know I will continue to try to make timelines for my life, but it's oddly liberating to realize that my plans are as tenuous as spiderwebs.

Sometimes, feeling powerless is empowering.


Let me conclude this letter by telling you how absolutely perfect you are. I may be tired and stressed and worried and a little crazy right now, but it's all worth it to have such an awesome little person in our lives. Your father is crazy about you. One day, you'll see a million pictures of him snuggling with you and kissing and holding you. It's amazing. Seeing how Chris is with you makes me love him even more, in a totally different way than before. He is a fantastic father, and he's so supportive of me, as I struggle to get the hang of things. (No matter how involved a father is, it's just different being the mother, especially if you're breastfeeding. There is a whole set of challenges that the father can't help with. Also, since he doesn't get 6 weeks of paid leave, I'm at home by myself a lot of the time now, so ... well, it's just different.)

Things Amanda Has Learned So Far About Being a Parent #3: Celebrate small victories.

Ok, so you're not getting any sleep. But your baby finally latched on correctly to feed!

Ok, so you haven't found time to do any housework in two weeks. But your put on real clothes today!

It's important to focus on the things that went right, from one day to the next.

That's all the advice I have for now, but I'll let you know when I figure out anything else. I love you very much, and I can't wait to see what cool new things you show us about yourself.

Love,
Mom

8 days out of the oven