Dear Toot,

You have gotten a reprieve until Sunday evening/Monday morning.  But if you aren't here by then, we are kicking you out.

I have to tell you the truth - I was pretty freakin' upset to find out that I may need to be induced.  The person who talked to me on Tuesday left me a little confused and a lot frustrated and a whole lot scared.  But today, we got to see the other midwife at the office, and she made me feel a LOT better.  She explained everything and empathized and reassured me, and I am now mostly ok with whatever happens.  (On a side note, she also stripped my membranes today, to see if we can kick things into gear.  Be very, very happy that no one will ever do that to you because it is just awful.)

I guess I got so anxious about the birth process that I forgot what it's all about.  You!  Whatever happens - whatever goes wrong or doesn't go according to plan - we will still get to see you and your fat, squishy little face soon.  I can't wait for that.

That said, though, I just wanted to share a little list with you:

THINGS FOR WHICH YOU ARE GROUNDED WHEN YOU COME OUT

1. Making me vomit in public

2. Almost 10 months of heartburn

3. I sneezed, and it made me pee on myself

4. Excessive tardiness

5. That week of lower back agony

6. Making pickles stop tasting as good

7. 30 years old is either way too young or way too old to pee in the bed

8. Back pimples

9. Constipation

10. Making me cry during such non-tear-worthy TV broadcasts as a baseball game and an episode of "Overhaulin'"

So, no parties and no allowance for several months after you show up.  Sorry, buddy.  You brought this upon yourself. 

If you're curious, here is one more list for you:

THINGS I WILL DO WHEN I AM NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE

1.  Glass of the Moët in the fridge

2. Rare fillet

3. Runny eggs

4. Raw sushi

5. Sleep on my back

6. Guinness

7. Change the cat litter (not excited, but it's probably my turn by now)

8. Start running again (once I get the ok)

9. Ungodly hot bath (again, once I get the ok)

10. Pinch, poke, cuddle, tickle, and generally play with chubby baby

I can't wait to meet you.  It's coming soon!

Love,

Mom

41 weeks, 4 days in the oven

P.S. you are the size of a pumpkin.  I am officially terrified.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2